After Surviving Abuse & Illness, Pantry Customer Lora Smith is Finding Her Happiness
Editor’s Note: This story contains references to domestic violence, sexual abuse, and mental/emotional abuse and may not be suitable for all readers. If you or a loved one is experiencing domestic abuse, help is available. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 (or 911 if it is safe to do so) or text START to 88788. For resources in Ohio, visit www.odvn.org.
Lora Smith is done being afraid. The Belmont County resident has lived through abuse, hunger, and cancer treatment. She’s moved across Ohio twice to start life fresh, fighting each step of the way for herself and her family. Now, as she plans her wedding at age 52 to her childhood sweetheart, she’s ready to be happy and share her story.
“I don’t fear many things anymore,” Lora said, reflecting on her life. “Those of us that have been through everything that God brought us through have an obligation to share so others know they’re not alone.”
Growing up in the 1980s in St. Clairsville, Lora moved between schools as her mother divorced and re-married. It was an isolated and tough childhood, she said. After her mother’s life was cut short by cancer, Lora was left with her stepfather, who Lora said became sexually abusive. As a young adult, she decided things had to change.
“You’re in a small town, and you get this thought into your head, ‘I wonder what the city’s like,” she said. “With $100 in my pocket and half a tank of gas, I moved to Columbus, got a job with a maid service, and made a go of it.”
For months, Lora lived in a cheap motel room in northeast Columbus. Each morning, she would walk half a mile to catch a ride with a coworker to that day’s jobsite. Soon, she’d saved enough for an apartment in Westerville, a suburb on Columbus’ north side.
On a night out, she met the man with whom she’d have children. The new couple soon moved in together, but her partner’s behavior worsened with time. She said he became controlling and, eventually, physically and emotionally abusive. He went as far as limiting the household’s access to food, Lora said.
“We were only allowed to eat what he left in the house when he left for work,” she said. “It was a control tactic. He wanted to make it loud and clear on a daily basis that he ran the show. Make no mistake about it.”
About 4 in 10 American women have experienced intimate partner violence, according to the CDC.[i] Research suggests it is strongly linked with hunger, and survivors report higher rates of food insecurity and a greater need for food assistance.[ii] When food is combined with other factors, abusive situations can be extremely difficult to escape. The National Coalition of Domestic Violence points to poverty, housing insecurity, fear for children’s safety, and lack of responsiveness from law enforcement as some of the barriers to leaving abusive relationships.[iii]
Lora said she reported her partner’s abuse many times, but that would often just make things worse. He would spend a few days in jail, get released, and take out his anger on the family. Eventually, she stopped going to the police. Lora said she couldn’t find the resources to keep all her children safe, and she made the impossible choice to give up her youngest kids for adoption.
Things came to a head when her partner assaulted one of her children badly enough for an ambulance to be called. After the investigation that followed, a court issued a stay-away order. The family’s abuser was finally forced out of the house.
In the months that followed, Lora’s grandmother joined her household in Westerville. While life at home became safer, money was tighter than ever. Lora sought out food assistance to help make ends meet, but she bitterly remembers her early experiences with it.
Lora said volunteers at a church taped signs to her back when she’d come in for help and rolled their eyes when she explained what her family needed. The experience was dehumanizing, and the shame it made her feel discouraged her from asking for help.
“The kids had to be in a picture [when we accepted help], and it’d be hung on a wall. Do you know how that feels to a kid who’s already been through so much trauma?” Lora said. “I let my kids go without so many things so many times because I didn’t want it public in the community that these are the poor kids who need help.”
Eventually, Lora found about Mid-Ohio Food Collective (MOFC) and the Westerville Area Resource Ministry (WARM), an MOFC partner agency. Going to those places felt different. WARM staff would help her with counseling, school supplies, winter clothes, and more. She said the support prevented her family from needing to go to soup kitchens, and the access to fresh produce through MOFC set her children on a path to better health.
“It’s probably one of the only reasons my kids are drawn to healthy food right now,” Lora said. “They gave us all sorts of produce and I had to come up with creative ways to use it.”
Lora moved back to St. Clairsville in 2019 after 23 years in Columbus. Her middle school sweetheart Rob reconnected out of the blue, and—just four days after getting his message—she was back in her hometown rekindling their old romance. They’re still together, and they plan to get married in 2024.
Since moving back, Lora has endured yet another twist in life. After losing her mother to cancer as a child, she received her own diagnosis in 2022. The chemotherapy and double mastectomy that saved Lora’s life have strained her finances. She’s found herself seeking help with food again—this time from the St. Clairsville Food Pantry.
Staff at the pantry have been incredibly welcoming, Lora said. When one of the employees noticed that Lora seemed cold after chemo treatments, she gave Lora a homemade blanket. The pantry serves customers without judgment, Lora said, adding that “you can come in here with your head held high.” While the medical bills keep coming, Lora said she’s not worried about going hungry as long as the St. Clairsville Food Pantry is there for her.
These days, Lora’s hopeful about her health. What’s more, she’s seen how food can make a difference in a person’s life, and she makes a point of reaching out to others in need.
“If I see you asking for help, I’m going to get something for you, get something for me, and we’ll sit, share a meal, and talk,” she said about an unhoused family of three she recently treated to lunch. “I feel like I made friends who don’t know where they live yet.”
Now, Lora said she wants to enjoy the good things in life. She is looking forward to her wedding, preparing for reconstructive surgery, reuniting with her adopted children, and planning her future with Rob. She’s lived through enough that she can now be happy, she said.
“People say, ‘you’re always happy, what’s your secret?’” Lora said. “There is no secret. So, there’s some rain once in a while. You just have to look for the good stuff.”
[i] Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2021, October 20). Prevent Domestic Violence in Your Community. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/injury/features/intimate-partner-violence/index.html
[ii] Ricks, J. L., Cochran, S. D., Arah, O. A., Williams, J. K., & Seeman, T. E. (2016). Food insecurity and intimate partner violence against women: Results from the California Women’s Health Survey. Public Health Nutrition, 19(5), 914–923. https://doi.org/10.1017/s1368980015001986
[iii] National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. (n.d.). Why Do Victims Stay? NCADV.org. https://ncadv.org/why-do-victims-stay